by : Noor Syafiqah Binti Napiah
Attachment is a strong, affectionate tie between a mother and a child that leads the child to feeling delighted and joyful when they interact and be comfort by touch and proximity in times of stress. Based on a research by Harry Harlow, babies will become more relax and comfortable with the presence of their parents and caretakers. We can summarize that a baby reacts differently with the presence or absence of their parents. When a baby is accompanied by their parents, they will love to explore their surroundings and be braver to be closer with strangers compare to during the absence of their parents.
Bowlby’s Ethological Theory recognizes the baby’s emotional tie to the caregiver as an evolving response that promotes survival. Accordingly, this has been the most widely accepted view. John Bowlby (1969), who first applied this idea to the infant-caregiver bond, retained the psychoanalytic idea that quality of attachment to caregiver has a profound implication to the child’s feeling of security and capacity to form trusting relationships.
In my opinion, I strongly agree that parents need to create secure attachment with their children for the sake of their child’s development. Secure attachment is when babies see the parent as a secure base. When separated, they may show distress or even cry but if they do, it is because the parent is absent and they prefer their parents rather than strangers. When they are reunited with their parents, they actively seek contact and their crying is reduced immediately. To secure attachment with babies mothers should be responsive and sensitive to their baby’s needs.
I would like to share some useful tips to create secure attachment with babies. One of the tips is limit the use of gadgets such as phones, tab, television or computer when you are with your child. Working parents always carry their phones near them so they can be alert with any news or any updates from their officemates until their children are neglected. Active interaction between parents and babies are important in order to create secure attachment. Besides that, parents need to think and do fun activities with their children whether it is indoors activity or outdoors activity. The activities do not have to be an expensive or complicated activity, parents can try to make do it by themselves such as play-doh with their children. It is simple but it is also fun to do it together with their children.
In addition, parents need to keep it in mind to always get their babies involve in daily routine activities such as mopping, cleaning room, washing clothes or sweeping the floor. Via these involvements, parents can actively interact with them while at the same time the children can learn to be responsible in their life and know how to manage themselves. By talking to them, they know that they are appreciated by their parents. Hence, this can develop self-esteem in children.
Attachment can affect the child’s emotions. Attachment is very important to human especially to children. For example parents need to take good care of their babies by fulfilling their needs and protecting them. For your information, by giving them affection, comfort and warmth indirectly, it can help at developing their cognitive skills in a good way.
Furthermore, attachment also influences children’s self- esteem and self- concept. With positive self –concept, children will always love to communicate with others and have positive attitude compare to with negative self-concept. For example, when parents praised their children for their good behaviour, the children will feel appreciated thus, build a positive self-concept within them.
In addition, the relationship between parents and children are seen to play an important role in forming a secure attachment. Parents should always protect their children no matter where they are. For example, parents should always ask about their child’s school and friends. Attachment between parents and children will be intertwined. By that children will know that their parents love and care about them and this will build secure attachment to them.
Within the emotional aspect perspectives, secure attachment can build positive attitude in children, such as helping mother at home, respecting the old folks and always listening to parents’ advices. Secure attachment also helps children to express their feeling and appreciates the feelings of others.